brittany is high on percoset...her mouth hurts. apparently she has dry socket.

also, we're watching "future world" with peter fonda. awsome.

Date:	2006-10-16 16:31
Subject:	snoopy
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed

so...my dog died. and i'm at work. trying not to cry. he was my baby. he looked like splinter from ninja turtles. and i miss him already.

Date:	2006-10-12 17:33
Subject:	you know it.
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

my feelings are SO LEGITIMATE. i have every right to be fuckin' pissed. so why have i not exploded? or imploded?

the answer?

tetrahydrocannabinol.

the end.

Date:	2006-10-10 16:32
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored

My spine feels like it's going to snap. I can't sit, stand, or sleep. I think I'm getting mono. Or rather, have it. I need to see a doctor probably. But I hate sitting in those sterile waiting rooms reading bad magazines like, "Home Decor", or "Parenting". Seriously.

On the upside...I HAVE FIFTH ROW SEATS TO BOB DYLAN! Holy shit. I didn't even know I was going until this afternoon when I went out to lunch with my mom, and she was like "So I don't know if you're interested...but I have these tickets to Bob Dylan on Saturday..." She doesn't know if I'd be INTERESTED!!!!???? Fuck yeah I'm interested. I mean fer-serious. I think I'll take an extra J and get high during my song.

Anyway, I feel like shit. I hate my job right now. And all I want to do is go home and sleep. I think I'm not going to class. We're watching "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", which I own, so I think I can deal with not sitting in a hard desk chair and taking notes on it. I'd rather sit on my couch and take notes on it.

Blah. I hope I don't die on the way home. Max is going to have a present for me!

Date:	2006-10-03 15:56
Subject:	but i want it NOW!
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

holy crap. tv on the radio made my freakin' night...i mean life. crazy.

on a more serious note...i think i'm getting old. not in a physical sense, just, you know, old. too old. i hate that i can't let my emotion decide my every move anymore. i guess it's a good thing. things probably will turn out better in the end. but i have this need for instant gratification. i need to know NOW. i hate the waiting game.

also, i'm really annoyed with friends who can't even sit down and have a serious conversation with you because they think you're going to yell at them even when you're not. i mean, nobody enjoys confrontation, but friendship means that you work things out by being honest with each other right? at least that's what i thought. maybe that's too idealistic of a view, or maybe some people are just assholes.

by the way, this blog is brought to you by...a reflective moment at work in which arianna is desperately trying to stay awake so she can go to class tonight.

but she'll probably fall asleep during the movie in class anyway cause they're watching "sullivan's travels". good movie. bad to watch in a dark and quiet room after not sleeping.

Date:	2006-10-02 15:13
Subject:	you know what....
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky

you know what i'd like? for people to NOT BE ASSHOLES! my stereo got stolen, and my friends are sneaky bitches. seriously, i thought best friend was supposed to mean something.

Date:	2006-07-07 17:46
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored

i haven't written in a while. been preoccupied with all the nothing that i do. i pick max and otto up at the airport on the 14th. counting down the days.

went to seattle last weekend with dustin. we saw sonic youth at the moore theatre. it was awsome. then on sunday we saw minus the bear at the bad ju ju lounge/neumos and dustin moshed for the first time. awsome. i lost my fake id...but it was totally worth it to see dustin mosh and yell "i want to have your babies" at the REALLY hot bassist.

anywho...i'll probably write again soon. now that i have the internet again. yay!

confused. in need of immediate direction.

my mythology teacher is so foxy! i missed class last week so i didn't get to meet him, but i went in today, and when he walked in...i nearly fell completely out of my chair. "IS THAT THE TEACHER!?" my god, i'll be lucky if i learn anything. i'll be too busy staring at his perfectly cut jawline, and blue eyes, and springy ash blond curls!

ANYWAY...today was pretty good. i did homework. and watched "walker, texas ranger". and ate strawberries (although i would have much preferred frozen blueberries).

i might need a hug though. dustin is not here to watch smallville yet (max taped it for me since i have class)...and i'm getting very antsy.

Date:	2006-04-08 15:41
Subject:	stay back!
Security:	Public
Mood:	bitchy

i feel as though i'm returning from the grave. maybe i did die for a while. who knows. the point is that i hate this fucking apartment. but now that school is back...(with me actually going to class i might add), it seems, well, nevermind, it still sucks. there's really nothing good about it. it's tiny. the furniture is ugly. my bed feels like a concrete slab. the cats fight. i have to muzzle my dog when no one is home. the kitchen is the size of an ant. and i am even farther away from myself and everyone i care about.

i've taken 143 pictures so far today. maybe i'll cheer up around 400.

i wish max was off of work. i could use consolation. or something.

Date:	2006-03-07 09:13
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed

I watched "Color Me BLOOD RED!" with Maximillian last night. I suppose it made my mood a little less cloudy and a little more smokey. It was slow. Also, I never thought I'd see a gore movie that had a soundtrack comprised completely of noisy jazz music. Wierd.

I'm sort of pissed that the electrician is here. I'm sort of pissed that I have to move out of my house for like three months. I may have done some stupid shit...but I have definately never EVER (almost) burned down the house! I'm not even allowed to move my own stuff. I just get to pack clothes and shit and take them wherever I go. Some team has to come in to clean all the "smoke damage" out of my room...(even though the downstairs doesn't really have any damage at all). So some group of burly, beer drinking (not that beer drinking is bad), pigs get's to rummage through my stuff. I sort of have this wierd thing about people going through my things. I never really realized how much it bothered me until recently actually, since I've always had the pleasure of moving myself. At least they're going to paint my room for me. I can't decide between crimson and tangerine with maroon moldings. I suppose it doesn't really matter. I'm not planning on living with my mom forever.

Anywho...I'm going to go sulk...in betwixt my snowflake sheets.

Every morning I wake up and dread running into the things I take so many pains to avoid. It seems life would be much more simple were I just a reasonably resposible person.

in the dark cavernous recesses that are the ninety percent of my brain which apparently is unused (although i'm fairly sure those portions are just not understood as of yet)...i have an image...of perfection. it's unrealistic.

this cycle. it's killing me. slowly.

Date:	2006-03-01 16:08
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	content

I love the smell of turpentine. The sweet smelling headache that follows an afternoon full of huffing. I love the sound of the fan working so dilligently at clearing the room of it's stench, desperately trying to buy me at least enough time for one more stroke of brilliant color. Moments of close study make for the best paintings.

___________________________________________________________________________________
i am downloading memories.
uploading karmanic debt.
searching for an answer in an
endless expanse of information.

i'm drowning and i don't even know it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Date:	2006-02-26 14:03
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

i stuffed myself with chinese food last night. but it was totally worth it.

i now find myself watching the a-team. joy.

also, i can't wait for sasquatch.

Saturday: Mainstage: Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals, The Flaming Lips, The Shins, The Tragically Hip, Neko Case, Iron & Wine, Sufjan Stevens, Gomez, Rogue Wave; Wookie: Sam Roberts, Constantines, Architecture In Helsinki, Bedouin Soundclash, Matt Costa, The Brunettes; Yeti: Tim Seely, Korby Lenker, Common Market, more artists to be announced

Sunday: Mainstage: Beck, Death Cab For Cutie, Queens of the Stone Age, Matisyahu, The Decemberists, Nada Surf, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Blue Scholars; Wookie: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Arctic Monkeys, We Are Scientists, Chad Vangaalen, The Heavenly States; Yeti: Rocky Votolato, Laura Veirs, Mercir, The Village Green, more artists to be announced

i only have tickets for those two nights...but still. awsome.

Date:	2006-02-24 14:36
Subject:	it's friday i'm in love.
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful

i'm having a moment of mental abstraction. i've just had a rather passionate love affair with a cup of cranberry tea and two perfectly toasted pieces of bread topped with avacado.

in my current state of...mmm...i'd almost call it bliss...i don't like to think about it...but work is in 3 hours. i'll be at imbibe from 6 to 7:30 with 94.7 if anyone wants to come see me.

also, if anyone has a copy of "another roadside attraction"...i'd really like to borrow it. i can't fiind mine.

Date:	2006-02-23 10:24
Subject:	little black rain cloud.
Security:	Public
Mood:	gloomy

It's like being stuck in a fucking rain cloud. There are chunks of time that I walk into, that seem to be crowded, nay...stuffed, with bad karma. I was okay a few weeks ago. And then I started downhill with no brakes.

I don't know what I did. And I'm simply feeling sorry for myself. In a funk maybe. I'm really only writing this to avoid dashing up to the kitchen and stuffing my face with the Thin Mints my mom bought (she said she only bought them to support the Girl Scouts...but I know better). I guess I feel sort of alone. I am. We all are. Technically. But most of the time, I ignore it and smile at the fact that I have amazing friends. Really I do. I wish I could hug all of them at once.

I'm scared. Sometimes of the most ridculous things.

If anyone wants to cuddle, I'll be here trying to get my car to start.

Date:	2006-02-22 12:20
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	crappy

far too much coffee this morning i think. the shakes were taking over until i broke down and bought a tray of vegetarian sushi. mmmmmm.... methinks i need to rethink my current handling of life.

1. stop eating ridiculous amounts of food to quell feelings of despair.
2. stop eating ridiculous amounts of food in general.
3. start doing homework.
4. go to class.
5. don't be a deuschbag.
6. don't get drunk on tuesday nights (or any weeknight for that matter).
7. walk.
8. stop being a couch potato.
9. don't watch so much television.
10. write.
11. GO TO CLASS. ( i know i already listed that one...but i felt it needed to be said again.)

these are the things i plan on doing. hopefully. i must catch myself before hitting rock bottom...mostly because it would cost too much to get a full body cast.

Date:	2006-02-21 10:15
Subject:	The Importance of Being Earnest.
Security:	Public
Mood:	annoyed

It's always bothered me that I can tell when people are bullshitting. Generally, in most situations, I can think of a fairly good (slightly illogical or emotional) reason why the person is lying...or talking out of their ass (depending on the situation). But I wish I just didn't know. It's really hard to sit there and nod your head and act like you believe the words that are coming out of your conversation partner's mouth. And then to try and give real advice without letting the other person know you're on to their devious ways! Oh the agony!

I need a cigarette.